Memories floating in the cloud...

Life isn't going smoothly for me. Whenever my sadness rise into my mind, it causes a lot of imbalance within my emotions. I really lost the mood to study. GPA is all what people around me been portraying to me. I am getting tired of this kind of life, pursing GPA... On one hand, I am trying hard to maintain my GPA... On another hand, I lost the interest to study and motivate myself. My relationship is directly affected by it. Parents' issues become a problematic matter where it goes out of hand. My relationship is always affected by this parents' issue. This relates to money, image, importance, emotions support and attributes. It creates more worse impact that upsets me when the money or parent related matters start to post in my face. Whenever this matter is being talked, the shadow which I have been trying to suppress keeps triggering into my mind. I don't have much money but I am trying to do my part to cope with my surrounding. Pressure arose higher when there is need for large sum of money. I am feeling hurt but I cannot cry out or have a shoulder to lie on for support.

I want to earn some money. Studying in here is making me sick of everything. No money, no ability. Down right in my mind, I cannot complain or voice this expression out. Due to this matter, it affects my talking tone with people especially loved one. Everyday I am been trying to find ways and methods to survive in here. Every moments I am scared in here.

"what if I don't do well in uni? Will people look down on me?"

Yesterday I ran away from home. I am too tired to face the problems in the house. It seems to be a coward move but I am desperate to get out of there.